The Return (2007)

The Return is the product of the complete and utter lack of imagination in the horror genre nowadays.

Quite simply, it takes a variety of elements that are generally considered to be scary, mashes them together any old how, and throws them at the screen without any regard to plot, pacing, sense or coherency. The whole God-forsaken mess is then haphazardly peppered with close-ups of Sarah Michelle Gellar's eyes.

She does have pretty eyes, in fairness, but that doesn't make up for the fact that she couldn't be interesting if her life depended upon it.

What a waste of time.

IMDB link


Chris Green said...

I couldn't have put it better (and I know you told me so even before any of us saw it).

I went to see this hugely disappointing and predictable movie on Saturday night, thankfully at the rather dire Cineworld Enfield rather than paying real money for the priviledge.

Weak storyline, a twist that became obvious after 25 minutes, irritating attempts at arty camera work coupled with a core cast that really didn't care less (Gellar and her pretty eyes included).

A real pity. With some work, there could have been half a decent movie to be had there.

soulmining said...

Wish I'd read this before I made the journey all the way over to Crawley to see it last night (sensible Brighton Cineworld exercises a little quality control) - but yeah, again, we did all agree it was likely to be sh*t when we discussed it on Friday.

Can't belive the reviewer on DVD Times gave it a positive review... needless to say, my review on EMB won't be so kind.

Chris Green said...

Indeed - I'd like to know what type of crack the DVD Times reviewer was smoking when he watched it.