Masters of Horror: Chocolate

Chocolate is one of the more frustrating Masters of Horror episodes. Not to be nit-picky, but Mick Garris doesn't really qualify as a Master -- reviewing his credits reveals that he directed a handful of Stephen King made-for-TV adaptations, and wrote some pretty decent stories in the 80s and early 90s -- though since Masters of Horror is his brainchild, it wouldn't really be fair to deny him a crack at a couple of episodes. The thing is, like the series as a whole, Chocolate is a brilliant idea buried under some pretty terrible execution.

The episode starts off with a blood-covered man in a police station, explaining himself. Never a good opening premise. His story is pretty out-there, too: seems he started having what seemed, at first, to be some sort of hallucination. He started tasting things he wasn't eating; hearing things from another place; seeing things through someone else's eyes. Somewhere along the line, he should also have realised he has the worst friends ever, since none of them seem to believe him when he says he's gone temporarily blind and/or deaf, and none of them ever offers to take him to a doctor. The final straw comes when he starts experiencing another person's sexual pleasure.

I only wish that last line were a joke.

In between writhing about in bed inappropriately, he manages to figure out that he's sharing the physical sensations of a woman who lives in Canada -- cue the ever present Masters of Horror wankiness, as he travels to Vancouver, where the series is filmed -- and she's in trouble, because she's just murdered her boyfriend. Oh dear. Having irrationally convinced himself he's in love with her, the man (I can't even be bothered to look up his character's name, he's so rubbish) stalks her around town till they have a big showdown with guns. And he gets arrested. And a really interesting idea gets wasted on wankiness. Better luck next time, Garris.